Each section of this book contains two parts. The first, and main part, is the written inspiration. These vary in length, some many pages long and containing personal stories of my own triumphs and failures. Others are shorter and created to be read more frequently, for a burst of inspiration and good energy. At the bottom of each piece of writing is the second part, the link to a related video (or sometimes videos). These videos contain things such as Hawaiian prayers for forgiveness, guided visualizations for feeling divine love in your body, and meditations to support and grow your spiritual awakening. The visualizations and guided meditations all utilize unique concepts that I designed from a decade of studying meditation and spiritual awakening. I create my meditations with the intention that they serve both your soul’s journey and your journey as a person here in this world. I believe spiritual awakening is so much more than learning to slow down and tune into the present moment. It’s something that uplifts and opens your spirit into its full expression while also being something that enhances your physical life. It can help you to feel more passionate about the things that you love and to feel more comfortable in your own skin. When we are awake to the fullness of our being we feel more capable of going for the things that we want to go for. Spiritual awakening essentially awakens us to the highest potential and joy possible in our daily life. Amongst the videos, there are 7 guided visualizations and meditations, which are all one of a kind. This uniqueness is part of my process, as it helps you to gently move beyond what you know and to open up to new beliefs and thought patterns that will benefit you. For example, in the Higher Self visualization you will tune into seeing a grid that extends through the whole Universe. There are 11 exercises that you can use for various times in your life. Some will help you to move out of fear. Others will help you to break out of a funk. Some will energize you and help you to tune into yourself better. The remaining videos contain inspiration and tips that will deepen your experience with the words you read. It is all designed to work together. You will notice that I visit some of the same topics a few times, and this is intentional. This book is meant to help you create new rivers of thought in your mind, and the best way to do this is through repetition. I see this as a book that you can refer to long after you purchase it. It’s the kind of thing you take your time with, reading sections and trying videos as you feel called to. It was created over many years of writing, and thus it covers a wide variety of topics, which are all interrelated. I sincerely enjoyed putting it together, and I hope you enjoy interacting with it just as much. 25 Tools for a Happier Life is available from Amazon.com for $2.99.
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The quote below was a status update I saw on Facebook. I loved it so much I tucked it away and saved it in a draft here. It was just so perfect. What I really love about it is how it so perfectly captures the effects we have on people that we never get to see. The man with the guitar will never know how much his act gave me a good feeling about life and people. He'll never know it brightened my day and made my smile, thousands of miles away from where it happened. And he'll never know I shared it here. Which also means I'll never know exactly who it reaches or what it does from here. You might read this and feel just a little better, and take that better feeling and smile at someone who needs it right in that moment. And that person might silently think, "Thank you," and pass on their gratitude... So before you read the quote let me just ask you to think about how powerful that makes each of us. By the ripple effect, we all impact the world far beyond what we generally allow ourselves to believe.
I recently began digging into why I have a deeply rooted fear of success. After a lot of journal writing, I discovered it came down to one thing: I equated success with being overwhelmed. I knew I had been overwhelmed and afraid before, and I knew I'd gotten through it. If I hadn't, I would be in a total shut down right now, so numb I wouldn't even be able to speak. This awareness that I'd gotten through my blocks, even if I was flailing and kicking and screaming when I did, gave me a powerful realization about myself: I had tools! Because I had struggled, I had learned ways to handle the struggle. I decided to write down everything that had helped me in a moment of shut down, fear, depression, over whelm, self-loathing, or general pessimism. I called this list “My Toolbox.” These were my tools that I had both developed and earned through my trials. When I looked at my list I felt my fear begin to dissipate. The same experiences that had caused me to fear overwhelm were the same things that had given me a set of tools that would carry me forward. I felt both relief and excitement. One of my favorite things about creating this list was seeing that I had far more tools than I knew. There were things on there that I had disregarded because I didn't understand them. For example, when I feel all is lost, I start saying the Hail Mary. I had written it off because, although I grew up Catholic, I no longer practice Catholicism. This fear of overwhelm had become ingrained in me from when I was living in Holland, struggling with a foreign language and land. I felt constant anxiety and overwhelm, and I had thus locked in the belief that I would do anything to avoid that chest crushing, rocks in the stomach, total-shut-down feeling again. All my life I've loved creative writing, but when I was in Holland I really had a hard time with both writing and submitting my work. After I came back home this resistance continued, and I would get anxiety each time I received a response to a pitch I sent out. The awareness that this resistance was a fear of success started slow, but it's now crystal clear to me what was happening. These two things were feeding into each other, as my past experience fueled my fear and subconscious triggers in my present reality. If I was afraid I would become successful with my writing and then get overwhelmed, I was basically feeling that it wasn't worth it. Thus came in a lot of subconscious self-sabotage. Since I had written off the Hail Mary, a tool that really helped me, I only turned to it when I was in the midst of feeling totally hopeless and helpless. I am now more proactive, and I say it when I feel even the slightest twinges of anxiety coming on. I don't know why it works for me. It just does, and that's all I need to know. I had other odd or random tools on my list too. Like singing, “A Whole New World,” until my sadness passed. Or even the simple act of deep breathing while repeating a mantra. I had refused to see deep breathing as a tool because it was so simple. Fear and overwhelm are so BIG that I had come to believe my coping tool had to be gigantic and complicated in return. I now see that this thinking is counter intuitive. To counter act a big, overwhelming feeling, you've got to bring in something so simple that you are giving the yin it's much needed yang. Having a tool box written down has reduced both the frequency and intensity of my anxiety. When I feel something coming on I open my toolbox and scan down the list. I start using what I have until I feel better. And if nothing is working, there's no need to panic. I'll create a new tool that I can use for the rest of my life. I know I can do this, because there was a time when my toolbox was empty. I used to have zero coping mechanisms for life. If that's where you are, the zero point, and your toolbox is empty, stay calm. You got this. You can put one thing on your list right now: deep breathing. It's easy, free, and I guarantee you can do it! Once you get two or three more things on your list your faith in yourself will grow, you'll get momentum going, and it'll feel like you're turning downstream rather than always fighting against a current. If you're looking for some tools to get you started, I have some guided meditations that might help. My "Deep Relief & Emotional Healing" is especially great for when anxiety, fear and stress take over. As someone who spent years in the dark void that is low self-esteem, I write this post with compassion for those that are where I was. I started so utterly low that I felt my entire life had no value. I still struggle with my confidence at times (honestly, who doesn't?), but what motivates me to write this is the knowing that it can get better. I am not writing these tips based on things I studied in books, but based on real experience that showed me, it is entirely possible to find your way back into the light of self-love and self-confidence. 1 - Accept how you feel and value your feelings If you're reading this, it's probably because you're aware that you have low self-esteem. However, you may try to dilute this in some way, perhaps by quickly pushing aside negative thoughts. Or perhaps by flooding yourself with positive mantras such as, “I'm beautiful, I'm smart, and I'm worthy.” Positive mantras are great, but if you don't believe the words you're saying, they can make you feel like you're failing, which will only make you feel worse in the end. Listening to yourself and giving yourself space to breathe and just feel what you feel is crucial. It sends the message to yourself that someone is listening to you, that someone cares. As you take this message in it will create a positive core feeling that you are worthy of being heard. You can use this to steady yourself and hold onto, like a support beam around which a new foundation is built. Starting this can be scary, because it can feel like you're reaching into a bottomless pit. However, once you let the feelings fully rise up, you will be surprised how quickly they loose their charge and power over you. Wait until you have some quiet time alone to do this. Put your hands on your heart, and breathe deep. Then just say it. All of it. “I feel ugly. I feel stupid. I feel worthless.” Keep saying it, and let yourself feel what you feel. If you need to cry, shed those tears. As you do this, keep reminding yourself that millions of other people have these same feelings. You are not wrong for feeling them. You're simply letting them rise up because you're ready to release them and bring in something the feels better. 2 - Realize the difference between feelings and facts You are a human. That is a fact. Most things beyond that are feelings. You can feel ugly. You can feel pretty. You can feel a lot of things, and you must become aware of when you take a feeling and turn it into a definition or a fact about yourself. There's a big difference between, “I am ugly,” and “I feel ugly.” Begin noticing how you use “I am...” and then make a point of shifting to, “I feel...” when it's followed by a negative statement. A feeling can pass through you. An “I am” statement you hold onto, you own it, you lock it in. The more you become aware of this, the more you will shift and start to let these feelings unlock so that they can rise up and flow out of you. We do not come into this world insecure and self-critical. We come in full of love, joy and curiosity. If we were born insecure, we would never learn to walk or talk. We'd be much too terrified of stumbling and making mistakes. We learn to be self-defeating. Which means, we can also unlearn it. We learn it from a lot of places, and for each person, what they learn and how they learn it is different. Sometimes it's personal, and criticism comes right down onto us from a parent. Sometimes it's more vague, and it's simply seeing a certain type of person portrayed as beautiful that we know we look nothing like. Wherever it is you got it from, the important thing is to realize it's not yours. The things that are real about you, that are unchanging, are the things that I listed: love, joy and curiosity. You may have lost touch with these, but they're still inside of you, ready and eager to be rediscovered. 3 - Forgive those that made you feel down on yourself Forgiveness has a powerful way of releasing the deeply entrenched gunk. You aren't going to forgive anyone because you condone their behavior. You aren't forgiving because you want this person or these people in your life. You are forgiving because carrying around all that anger, sadness and hate is a weight on you. You deserve to be free. Raising your self-esteem means choosing what's in your highest good above all else. It means making yourself a priority. By holding onto what other people said or did, you're putting them in the driver seat of your life. No one is allowed to drive your life but you. This life is yours. You get to decide what's true. Put yourself first, and focus on how you, and only you, now want to define yourself. 4 - Create a self-love journal If you've ever heard of a gratitude journal, this is the same concept. This step requires the most commitment, and you'll be tempted to drop it after a few days. Do not do this. It takes 21 days to make a new habit. It takes 40 days to make it your new normal. Make a promise to yourself right now, that you feeling good about yourself is so important you're going to do this for 50 days, and with the intention that you keep doing it after that, so long as it feels good. For the next 50 days, write two things every day that you love about yourself. Anything at all, even just the fact that you take care of your dog, and you love that you do that, because you love your dog. You can write the same two things repeatedly. You can even just write I love me because I'm breathing. To take note of the fact that you're breathing is to notice that you are alive. You are a flesh and bone part of this world. You were created, and you exist for a reason. You are one of a kind, a sacred reflection of all the stars in the sky. You're breathing. You're alive. YOU MATTER. If you get momentum going, write more than two. Write fifty. Write hundreds. Write until your hand hurts. It's important you keep a journal ONLY for this purpose. If you want to release negative thoughts, have a separate journal for this. This way, when you need a boost, you can pick up your self-love journal and there before you is a positive, self-created resource of good vibes. 5 - Let go of the need to define your appearance
In the same way that society can impose on us feelings of being ugly, it can also make us think we HAVE to feel beautiful. Loving all types bodies is becoming the new norm, and it's fantastic. But declaring you love how you look is not required in order to be a self-confident person. You can just be, and it can feel great. No longer feeling the need to label your appearance can be liberating. You can stop calling yourself tall, short, fat, thin or anything else right now. You can forget wrestling with all of that, because it's all so convoluted anyways, and just declare that you are a person and you are alive and that's all you need to know. 6 - Find what makes you happy and focus on it Feeling happy naturally raises your self-esteem. When you feel happy, you are in the awareness that your time, your life and your energy are valuable. Does coffee make you happy? Then give yourself permission to savor a cup of joe. If taking a slow walk makes you happy, then schedule in daily walks. If watching a ridiculous reality show puts you in your happy place, then let yourself enjoy it without guilt or apologizing. When you focus on what makes you happy, you also tune into what aligns with you. You stop living for other people, and start living for you. This cuts way down on you worrying what others think. Focus on what brings you joy, and remind yourself, if it brings you joy, then it's important, because you are important. This guided visualization was inspired by the full moon and the conjunction of Venus and Jupiter in the sky. The energy has been really powerful lately, and I wanted to tune into it for this video. Even if you view this long after the full moon and the conjunction has passed, you will still get the benefits. It's a great visualization for feeling into your personal power. It will also help you to release the old and open up to what it is you are here to do.
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