Sometimes, when I'm struggling with my sense of self-esteem, I begin to think of my accomplishments, good things I've done, positive things people have said to me, and so on. I was doing this tonight as I thought about who I am and where I'm at in life. I was navigating waves of doubt and insecurity.

Who are you to feel important in this world? What have you done to earn that?

And then I wondered... why do I feel I have to think of what I've done or am doing in order to feel my existence is valid and worthy? Have I ever felt a wild flower needs to prove it belongs in this world?

Just think of it - you are walking through a field and suddenly you come upon a glorious yellow buttercup. It has brightened the field and thereby brightened your day. Even better, nobody planned for this flower to be here. It arose from a mysterious and far-reaching chain of events that is part of the ongoing web of Earth life. The fact that you crossed paths with this flower is quite literally a cosmic miracle.

As you gaze upon this flower, do you wonder what it's doing with its life?

Do you wonder if it's actually earned that sunshine it is so freely soaking up? Do you ask yourself if this flower truly deserves, above all other existing and potential flowers, to be pulling in nutrients from the earth? Has this flower done anything special to be worthy of your attention and praises???

I mean, who does this flower think it is!

It would be strange and even depressing to put all of that on a flower, which is valid and important simply because it exists. We intuitively know this, and we allow this knowing to extend to all of the natural world.

​We do not question if a moose is living up to its potential. We do not wonder if that hawk soaring in the sky is trying to find its purpose in life. We just know that they are here, and we are so glad they are.

Even the mosquitoes, which literally feed off of other living things, they actually do the opposite of contribute or work hard or share loving kindness, are things we know that do not have to ask our permission or approval to be. We are free to swat them to their death, but don't expect that mosquito to apologize to you or anyone or anything about who it is and what it's done (or not done) with its life. The mosquito knows what created it is something beyond you, and therefore, it owes you no explanation, not even a "thanks for the blood!"

And how wonderful to know that is true of you and I also.

We are also a part of the natural world, even if it seems our world has somehow removed itself. This separation is only an illusion.

Your body is nourished by the the water of the earth. The food you eat, which creates your body, was grown in this planet's rich, musky soil. That sunshine that is so vital to all of plant life is vital to you also. You are a natural part of this world, and whoever you are, wherever you are, the only person you must explain yourself to... is no one. 

You are valid because you were created and you exist. You are a wildflower in the sea of stars we call the Milky Way.

You, with every breath you take, are deserving and important. You are a gift from a higher consciousness, and that divine, mystical energy is a part of you right now. It may seem your life is as random as a leaf on a tree, but the thing is, no leaf is random. Each leaf ensures a delicate balance is achieved on each branch.

Sometimes, I will feel that I am valid because I believe in kindness. I boost my self-esteem by reminding myself I am a loving person.

​But even this is putting parameters and limits on what is important in this world. Who am I to say anger and angry people are less valid than I? And what about sad people? I used to be the saddest of them all. I was so depressed I scared the people closest to me. Would I, even for a second, consider that version of myself less valid, less worthy of the sunshine that radiates down? Of course not. Not even for a millisecond.

The same is true for other people who I don't always believe are acting in ways I wish they would. There are people who hurt me deeply in the past, and those very people were some of my biggest catalysts to get me to ask deeper questions, to seek what would ultimately become a path of meditation, curiosity and expansion of consciousness. I cannot say they are less worthy or less valid in their journey than I.

They are the leaf on the opposite side of the branch.

We may grow in opposite ways, but we also seek a certain harmony, a certain balance, a certain cohesion that often exists in a greater understanding than I usually look at them with.

And so today, I ask you to try, for the whole day, not to validate your existence.

​Do not feel you must justify who you are or where you are. Wherever you are, there you are, and thank you for being there. You don't need to win awards or promotions or even be considered a good person in order to feel perfectly content about being there. All you must do is turn your face up to the sky, feel the sun upon it, and know that what you feel and how you feel about yourself is between you and your cosmic creator.

​In my guided meditation Expect Miracles I ask you to start looking for miracles everywhere in your daily life.

​The more you see miracles, the more you will believe in them and the more they will show up. It's using the basic Universe principle energy flows where attention goes. When you think about something, and you feel good about it, it makes an energetic connection in the quantum field, which then manifests that thing in your physical life.

In other words, get excited about the miraculous nature of life and your life will become miraculous. 

Asking you to start looking for miracles everywhere can seem like a high order. Who in this world of struggle and conflict sees miracles all the time? All of us. It's simply a matter of changing your perspective. Miracles really are around us all the time, so long as we're willing to see them.

For real? I mean really. I'm just sitting here drinking my coffee. How is that miraculous?

The real question is, how is not?

Let's imagine you've just gotten a cup of joe from your favorite coffee shop. You're walking out with a paper cup full of piping hot dark roast. Let's take a look at that simple paper cup that's so magically holding your liquid from sloshing to the ground. And I do mean magically. Do you know that the atoms that compose you, me, cups, everything, never touch each other? That's right, it's an illusion. Between every single atom is an imperceptible cushion of space. 

The fact that the cup appears solid, and that your hand holding it appears solid, is one of the miraculous illusions of this world.

How does this happen? When atoms reach a certain point, they are no longer attracted to each other, but start to experience repulsion. The closer they get the stronger this repelling force is. Which means the more you try to force them together the stronger the force is pushing them apart. How strong? Stronger than any force we're capable of producing here on this Earth. Which means that two of the most microscopic building blocks of life area capable of exerting more strength, more POWER, than the strongest person alive.

The smallest pieces of this world contain power. That in itself is rather miraculous. You are created of those pieces. You are created of billions and billions of powerful atoms, atoms which are working in their own divinely intelligent and miraculous way to keep you together - or at least, seemingly together. Let's not forget those atoms like their space.

So this cup you have is kind of amazing, and we've barely scratched the surface of its fascinating makeup.

If you collapsed the empty space of a cup and somehow overpowered those powerful atoms, the actual dense matter of your cup would be less than a fraction of a grain of sand.

Along with there being space around atoms, there is also space within the atoms. Around each nucleus, electron and proton is also space. A lot of it. The world is much less dense than it appears. We just take for granted that the way our eyes process reality is the whole story.

It's not. Far from it.

Now we're starting to understand how wild and strange your cup is. But we should go deeper. Let's consider the material that makes up the cup and take a look at this paper receptacle. Paper's not special, right? Okay it's got that weird space between the atoms thing going on, but beside that, it's just paper.

Right?

Is anything just anything? Where did the paper actually come from? It didn't just appear as a cup in the coffee shop.

​It had to start as a tree. A tree has a protective layer of bark, which acts like your own skin, protecting its interior from the outside elements. It also has a system of veins that run sap up and down it in order to nourish the tree, much like your own blood system. A tree is a living, breathing part of this world. It's not just a tree.

But how do we even have trees that can be turned into paper? Where did the first tree come from?

In 2007, tree stumps that were 385 million years old were uncovered. Trees have been living and evolving on this earth longer than any human ancestor. A lot longer. About 379 million years longer. When you stand before a tree, you stand before something that connects back to a time that we know almost nothing about. The trees connect back to the mysterious and miraculous birth of life as we know it.

There's more to it than that. Trees are grown in special harvesting places called managed timberlands. The logs are shipped to sawmills for processing... oh but wait, that's not simple either. What are the trucks made of that ship the logs?

What about the person who drives the truck, the person who can never be again and was never before? That special person who is them self a cosmic mystery.

The tires for the truck had to be made, the metal was made somewhere. All of these separate parts of the earth turned into a truck, so that someone could ship logs to a processing plant to make paper.

And then there's the wax that lines the cup, which has its own mind boggling story of how it came to be. Nothing in this world is simple. Everything is connected to everything else. Those trees that make the paper? They were nourished by the water that cycles through the sky and earth, by the soil that has been on this planet for billions of years. When you hold paper, you hold something that is connected to all of time and creation on this planet. It's that amazing.

To say that the entire world conspires together to make a little cup that holds your coffee would be true. If that isn't miraculous, I don't know what is. Not to mention the fact that we've already established the cup itself, with all its space filled atoms, is miraculous in nature.

And that's just the cup. We didn't even get into the coffee inside of it. When you sip coffee, you sip something that is only made possible by a complex and fascinating series of events. It's something that passed through the hands of people half a world away, was shipped by fuels that came from inside the earth and was brewed by somebody who is made from the same materials as the stars in the sky. 

Everything in this world can be looked at in this way. Including you. Maybe even especially you.

​There are miracles all around us. Life is the miracle. You are a miracle.

It's often just a matter of change in perception to see how miraculous this life and world are. Why not take a moment and marvel at what's happening all around you right now? As I said in the beginning of this blog post, that which is like itself will be drawn to itself. Think about miracles, notice them, and notice how your life changes.

The Violet Flame is one of the tools people use to either begin or accelerate their spiritual ascension.

Part of the reason this meditation visual ties in so deeply with spiritual awakening is its association with the crown chakra. The crown chakra, or Sahasrara in Sanskrit, resides at the top of the head. It's your connection point to the divine, and is also violet in color.

​By activating the Violet Flame, you are activating your crown chakra. You clear any blocks you might have here to receiving divine guidance, wisdom, healing, and connection.

The Violet Flame clears and opens your connection to God, your Higher Self, your spirit, your divine healing abilities, and your guides and angels.

It helps you to step out of constricting your soul and to let to it open, expand and flourish. It also clears old karma that you have resolved and are done with. It clears dense, low vibrating energy and helps you to process it and step into the highest vibration available to you at this time.

The Violet Flame was introduced to human consciousness by St. Germain. It was brought into our awareness for the purpose of spiritual awakening and ascension.

Often times, when I meditate on it the feeling is so charged that it seems as if the air around me has thickened and is almost crackling with energy.

I love this spiritual tool, and the guided meditation I created to go along with it will further deepen your experience. The Violet Flame guided meditation will help you to center, connect to the center of our solar system, tune you into your I AM presence and let go of everything you're ready to release.

The Blue Flame is something I began using after some time with the Violet Flame.

If you feel called to try the Blue Flame first, then follow that. ​This flame will allow you to tune into feeling you are connecting to the hottest, most potent energy available for clearing, transmuting and healing. We often associate the color red with heat, but it is actually when a flame turns blue/white that it has reached its hottest temperature.

The Blue Flame will clear deeply stuck energy in your mind, body and spirit.

​It also works on karma and clearing density, but unlike the Violet Flame, the Blue Flame is something that works more on your present life. It is something that will help you when you're ready to go to the next step in your life, to truly release old patterns, to shut the door of one phase of your life, and to transition into a new phase.

​For this reason, The Blue Flame is something that can help you to actualize your desires into your life. It's like a partner to the Violet Flame, building on the spiritual awakening of the Violet Flame and helping you to remember you are a physical being with a powerful purpose in this world.

A few wees ago, I felt guided to listen to The Golden Thread guided meditation every day for 40 days.

I created this meditation a few years ago (it's the first one I made!), and I play it from time to time, but this was the first time I got a specific message about it: try it for 40 days in a row and see what happens.

​I wasn't sure why, except for the knowing that doing something for 40 days can be a sacred and life changing experience. 

Now that I'm half way through it, I'm starting to understand what this is doing for me.

Usually, when people play this meditation they have a vivid dream, either right after playing it or after a few listens. I'm 20 days in, and although I've had interesting dreams thus far, last nights' was one that really told me something special was happening. In the dream I had traveled somewhere else, somewhere I can't recall, only that it wasn't where I live.

I had two choices: go back to where I was and what I had been doing, or follow whales as they swam around the earth.

When I saw the whales I knew instantly, I would follow them, and I did. Watching them swim and traveling through the oceans was the most beautiful, open, free and happy dream I've had in a long time. 

I believe part of the reason this meditation creates vivid and interesting dreams is because the imagery works on very deep levels of the psyche. There is the conscious experience you have while you play it, what you feel in your body, and then there are subconscious things happening that unfold and reveal themselves over time.

​The meditation guides you to look up to see a large white cloud. Hanging from the bottom of the cloud is a beautiful golden thread. The thread comes down from the sky, weaves through your entire body, and then drops into the soil, spreading out like roots. This is a very calming and serene experience, and one that will help you to feel supported and highly energized in the present moment.

If there's one thing I've learned in my life, it's that a truly self-empowered state comes from a feeling deep within.

​It comes from feeling, with my whole body and soul, that the Universe sees me as a vital part of it. When I feel into how much the Universe loves me, how it just knows it would be incomplete without me, I can feel how truly loved and supported I am.

​I can feel the love in my heart, the love that connects me to all the beautiful things I dream of. I can feel God shining onto me, and I feel myself shining back. As we commune and I drop my walls I feel like I'm coming home. I can feel the power of higher dimensions of consciousness guiding me, wanting me to succeed.

They want me to feel happy and expanded and safe and powerful because I am as important to to the Universe as the whole Universe is to me. 

​If one cell in my body, one single cell, fell into dis-ease I would give it unconditional love and support. I would send it waves of love, nourish it with good food, drink plenty of water, and all in hopes that it returned to health and harmony. I would do this, because it is a part of me, each cell is vital in making me whole.

​You are the same to the Universe. The Universe wants you to be happy, healthy and whole because without you, it's incomplete.

When I feel into that, into the knowing that vast and powerful resources are asking, begging, pleading with me to stop trying so hard and to let them help, I feel empowered. I feel it's all okay, it's all taken care of. And that is what I love the most. I feel it. I feel it as I go about my day. I don't have to think it or affirm it or keep reminding myself of it.

Whenever I feel lost, alone, sad or scared I close my eyes, take a deep breath, and I feel that the atoms of my body are composed of the same material as the stars.

​Then I feel the cosmic connection I have to those stars, and then I feel the power, the literal power of all that mass, all that hydrogen burning and churning and crushing down on a core so hot it lights up entire worlds.

This state of empowerment within me feels like warmth. It feels like ease. It feels good. Really, really good. And that's all being self-empowered is. Feeling good from within.

If you need a little boost with your own sense of self-power, I've made a guided meditation to help tune you in and reconnect you to all that you are. You can play the abridged version above (via SoundCloud) for free. It's 11 minutes long and contains beautiful background music called "Heaven and Earth," by Christopher Lloyd Clarke. 

All meditations and packages are offered on a pay what you can basis

​This is a mantra that came to me from the Sivananda Kirtan. 

Kirtan is a Sankskirt word that can be translated many different ways, but generally means narrating, praise, or reciting.

​I began experimenting with this mantra in 20 minute meditation sessions. Twenty minutes for me is the ideal length of time to meditate on a mantra. It's long enough that I have no choice but to let go, because at some point I always lose track of the feeling of time and surrender to the fact that I have no idea how long I have left. It's also long enough that my mind clears and I free fall into the energy of the words.

And the words in this meditation are truly powerful. I would feel waves of energy come into me, things release, and often felt like I was falling deep inside of myself. I also felt as if the chant was truly calling in these powerful figures, particularly Kali Ma, right into the room with me.
​
Kali Ma is often known as the Goddess of destruction.

​She is a Goddess that is swift and efficient in her answer to your prayers. If something needs breaking apart, destroying, or clearing in order to make way for the new, she is the Goddess to call on, and she will respond without hesitation. By chanting her name you will call in her powerful energy to help break up old patterns, feelings you're done with, events you're done with, and so on. She can even break apart your current reality so that you can build an entirely new one. She can also help break apart an unbalanced grip on what you perceive to be the only truth in life, allowing in more room for the magic and mystery of life that can miraculously shift everything.

Donations greatly appreciated!