When a friend recommended I watch the movie Violet, I knew exactly which film she was referring to. I'd been interested in it because I'd heard the lead character struggles with anxiety and intrusive thoughts. Other than knowing the movie dealt with anxiety, I really didn't know what to expect when I put it on. Within the first few minutes, the film showed how Violet struggles with a stream of negative internal dialogue all day. It is constant. And it is jarring. In all honesty, it made me uncomfortable at times. Not because what she was thinking was outrageous and unbelievable - but because it was so BELIEVABLE. A large amount of things she thought I think myself. To hear my own thoughts being spoken out loud, and seeing the impact and pain they cause, was both captivating and unnerving. However, seeing those thoughts made manifest on Violet was not all bad. In fact, there was something deeply reassuring about knowing I'm not the only one who thinks stuff like that. Because my negative thoughts are so vicious, they feel specific to me, which makes them seem true. My stream goes something like You're a loser, no one actually believes in you, people pretend to respect you but they really think you're worthless. But... if everyone has similar thoughts, then they aren't really specific to me. We all learned the same bullshit, and it doesn't define a single one of us. As the movie goes along, Violet begins to confront her thoughts. She begins taking steps to set herself free from the prison of self-attack. I don't want to tell you exactly what she does or how it unfolds, because I think it would be more powerful to see it for yourself. If you struggle with anxiety, intrusive thoughts, fear, and/or low self-esteem, I highly HIGHLY recommend you watch this film. It had a profound effect on me, and has literally changed how I deal with my inner monologue. The movie is really well done, relatable, and in the end, will give you a sense of hope that maybe wasn't there before. I rented the movie for $4.99 on Redbox, and when I looked for it, I also saw it available to rent on Amazon, iTunes, and Vudu. After you watch it, come back and do the meditation I made that was inspired by the movie. It's all about finding your true, loving inner voice. The one that resides below the stream of negative self-talk, which we usually can't hear because the negative voice is talking over it. This meditation will help you to hear what your inner self ACTUALLY wants to say to you, and how loving and supportive it really is. Violet stars Olivia Munn, Justin Theroux, and Luke Bracey. It was written and directed by Justine Bateman. Quick summary: Violet realizes that her entire life is built on fear-based decisions, and must do everything differently to become her true self. The Meditation
Heal your critical inner voice with this guided meditation. It's donation based and I welcome you to leave what feels right to you.
I'll be honest, I've only made two vision boards in my life. And both times, it was because a friend was hosting the workshop. I love to support my friends (and hangout with awesome people!), so I was happy to go.
I would say I'm rarely motivated to make vision boards because I feel more comfortable using writing instead. I love to write and often spend my mornings scribbling away in my journal. When I write, I write down my vision for what I want for my life. I describe where I am, who I'm with, and what I'm doing. So the idea of making a physical manifestation of those visions was both new and fun for me. One of the things I love most about vision boards is it helps me to uncover hidden desires. I often sit down with a clear idea of what's going to be on my board. But then I'll come across something that fits that exact ideal and it won't feel right. Then later, I'll come across something that seems completely random and I'll think OH yeah, THIS. This is what I was looking for! So as much as I see vision boards as a way to create a source of focus, I also see them as a wonderful source of inner exploration. I had such a blast at this workshop, and I sincerely hope my friend Annabel hosts another one! You can find this amazing lady on Instagram at @Crown.N.Roots (that's her holding up her board from last year). She's a motivated, talented, and badass woman. She does a lot with both the yoga and cannabis communities, so if either of those interest you, go give her a follow! When you order any of my packages or courses, you will automatically get any updates or new additions. This includes Manifest Your Best Life, the newest meditation added to the Manifesting Magic Course. This bonus meditation can be used to help keep your vibration up after completing the course, as a means of soaking up the energy deeper while in the course, or even as a means to lay a foundation before you ever begin. This powerful 20 minute guided meditation will lead you into the energy of your highest and best self. It will help you to align with the energy of all you dream of - abundance, health, relationships, and more! Utilizing the principles of the Law of Attraction, as well as empowering words and questions, you will find your energy raising as you begin to vibrate in harmony with your biggest dreams. If you'd like to experience this deeply healing, uplifting, and energizing meditation, then you'll want to join the Manifesting Magic Course. This course includes 10 more powerful guided meditations, a Law of Attraction based workbook, and more! It is truly a lifechanging experience! Preview the new meditation below, and then hit the button to be taken to the Manifesting Magic page. You're going to love playing with energy and discovering how powerful you truly are. The Empowering Visualizations are a series of audios that will help you to use the power of your thoughts to uplift and positively change your life. They are different from meditations in that they are less of a passive, letting go experience, and more of an experience where you are an active participant. You can get them as a stand alone package here or as part of the Spiritual Tools for Healing Anxiety and Depression package here. This powerful visualization journey is different than any of my other ones. It will take you on a journey back through time, so that you may empower and uplift yourself from the time you were born up until you’re an adult. You will do this using the quantum physics theory that all of time is happening at once. Therefore, this is not you giving love, support, and encouragement to a past you, but rather to the version of you that still exists in the field of quantum energy. By empowering yourself with love and support, you will discover the version of you that would have grown up confident, feeling valued, and full of a sense of potential and purpose. You will then discover that this version of you is within you, and it’s ready to come forth and take your life in powerful new directions. You will become one with all the gifts and blessings that come with this empowered new Self. Listen to a preview of this new audio below! As I shared above, you can buy it as part of a package, or you can just buy this new Empowering Visualization here. I've recently added Success & Prosperity to the Empowering Visualizations package.These visualizations are something of a cross between meditation and the law of attraction. While using them, you will visualize and feel whatever it is you want to experience - perhaps greater self-love, more abundance, better health, or less anxiety at work. The newest visualization, Success & Prosperity, is 14 minutes long. This visualization will truly immerse you in the feelings of success, deep self-worth, joy, passion, and prosperity. While using it, you will radiate with the energy of your biggest and brightest self. You can use this visualization to help you see yourself successful and confident in your career, for a specific goal (such as landing a big client), or at times when you're between positions and you just want to energize yourself for your next big thing. When using this visualization, you will open doors to possibilities you never knew existed.This visualization is a powerful way to use the energy of your mind to become more successful than you've ever dreamed.If you'd like to try this new visualization, you can preview six minutes of it below. This preview does not include the relaxation exercise in the beginning, which will help you to take the energy into the deepest layers of your mind and being. It also doesn't include the second half of the visualization, which you can get by purchasing the Empowering Visualizations Package for $2.50. Success & Prosperity14 minute visualization
I have been reflecting lately on a story I began telling myself when I was 22. It was at this time, that I dropped out of college for good. I was suffering from severe depression and failing class after class. At the time, mental health was not addressed in the way it is now, and so I just sort of floundered, feeling that if I wasn't such a failure, I wouldn't be making such a mess of everything. Considering I left the year I should have graduated, I was surrounded by people who DID graduate. All of my friends got their degrees, and I began to tell myself a story that would stick with me for nearly two decades after. As my friends graduated, they got their first post-college jobs. Jobs you could only get if you had a college degree. Some went to work for big companies, like Netflix and Walmart. Some jumped around, trying out different jobs, all while exploring their adult lives in a way I could only watch with awe and jealousy. I wanted to be like them. I wanted to feel capable and like I was progressing in my own life. I wanted to feel like I was a part of the world, but instead, I felt shut out and alone. The job I got was cleaning after hours at my dad's office. Cleaning is by no means a bad job, and I recognize the hard work and ambition of all who become home and office cleaners. The problem was, everyone around me was doing something vastly different, and I began to determine who I was based on the perspective I was standing in. What I saw, based on my limited information, were people with something of value. They had a degree, they had something that people wanted, and therefore, they had value. I did not have this thing, and therefore, I concluded I had no value. I was on a much lower level, and this is where my mind got stuck for many, many years. It makes me sad to write this and to think about how much of my life I've spent repeating this story ad nauseum. If there was any evidence to the contrary, anything that said, "You have value and the world needs you!" I disregarded it as anomalous. Surely these messages were a mistake, because I saw so many other messages that said, "Worthless. Incapable. Loser," and those I determined to be the truth. I held onto those messages that hurt like heavy rocks that I somehow felt I couldn't live without. At this point, you may want to shake me by the shoulders at the faultiness of my thinking. How could I have determined my entire sense of self-worth based on whether or not I graduated from college? There are so many people who went on to be wildly successful who never graduated, or who never even went at all. And there are those who never went to college, never felt much desire to be ambitious, and lived a happy and fulfilling life based on what felt good to them. But that's the thing with stories. They aren't based on the full truth. They are only based on glimpses of reality that we blow up and piece together in a way that satisfies our own inner narrative. When I look back, I can see how easily this story fit my sense of self at the time. I had no way of knowing what I would do with myself. I had no way of knowing I would one day create my own guided meditations, and offer something to the world that I really do believe has value. I only had what I knew then - which was a sense of failure and worthlessness. I looked around at everyone around me, which was in itself a very limited perspective, and made a conclusion so fixed I may as well have carved it into stone. It's incredible to me to look back and consider how much information I filtered out so that I could affirm this ONE story about myself over and over. I wish I could go back in time and talk to 22 year old Melissa. I wish I could tell her not to determine her entire life's value based on .02% of the information she is seeing. I wish I could hug her and tell her she's going to be okay, and there is beautiful path ahead of her, completely unique to her. But I cannot go back in time. I cannot change what's done. And so I can only start a new chapter. One I write with more information, and from a place of love and self-acceptance I never allowed myself before. I don't just want to start a new chapter though. I want to start a whole new book. I want to look at a blank page and ask myself honestly, "Who are you? What is the story you want to tell about yourself?" I want to fill my new pages with love and hope. And I want to fill them in such a way that I look back 20 years from now and think, now that's a hell of a good story. Photo by Thought Catalog on Unsplash
|