For years, I have found comfort in the phrase "What you seek is seeking you." It wasn't until recently that I realized that this phrase can be misleading. It does not reflect how the Universe works, or how we work with it. If it did, all people who are seeking a healthy, loving relationship would be in one. All people who seek wealth would be rich. And yet, there are people who yearn for a healthy, loving relationship and are in one toxic one after another. There are people who cannot break out of debt, despite wanting abundance more than life itself. Our desire for something absolutely does call that thing to us. But how we feel when we desire it, where our energy is focused - on the lack or the abundance - determines in what form it will show up. In other words, if you desire a thriving online business, but your energy is focused on debt and failure, you aren't going to attract success to you. It's not what you want that is delivered to you - it's what you are. What you are vibrating with is sent out like rings in a pond. They go out and out and out, find matches, and then flow back. If every fiber of your being is vibrating with fear, then your fear will be mirrored back to you through loss, bad luck, or even bankruptcy. However, if your inner self is radiating with the joy of creation, then it doesn't matter what's happening in your business - your joy will be reflected back to you. If, in your mind, you feel you've created something wonderful, and you're excited to share it, that excitement will return to you as customers, good reviews, and good luck. It doesn't matter what's happening (or not happening) because everything is in a constant state of flow and change. If things look grim, don't focus on that. It will simply amplify it and bring it back ten fold. Instead, get into the feeling of, Hell yes, this all worked out and I am the Queen of My Universe! And then walk around like you really are a queen or king, because when you're royalty, you know that energy bends to your will. You don't ever question how or when. You just straighten your crown and think, Thank you. I am so blessed. Thank you thank you thank you. Rather than telling ourselves, what you seek is seeking you, it would be more true to say what you feel is showing up all around you. There is nothing wrong with seeking and desiring things. It's what sets the gears in motion to eventually bring that thing to us. Feeling a strong impulse towards something inspires us to act in ways that will align us with our desire. But at some point, you have to let go of seeking it, because the seeking will continue to reinforce it's not there. At some point, you have to declare it's done and prepare for it's arrival. You must essentially believe you have it before you have it. You have to trust that all the unseen forces of the Universe are bringing it to you at this very moment. Because when you feel you have it, the rings of energy roll out of you, and everything that vibrates with YES to that will come back to you. Now put down that fear and pick up your royal scepter. I bow down to your greatness. You got this.
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Children live life with open hearts, passion, freedom and a deep sense of trust in life. They live in a way we slowly forget as we grow up, until one day we want to remember all that good and important stuff we lost. For me, this is never more true than when I think about the business my best friend and I started when we were 8. Way back then, we made hand crafted gifts (cards, jewelry, knitted bags) and sold them door to door. We had no sense then that what we were doing was brave and revolutionary. We had no idea we would grow up to be people that would simultaneously fear and crave that same sense of freedom, responsibility and leadership. We were truly masters of our own destiny, but this was nothing to be thought about. It was the only thing we knew. Sharing your own personal creations with the world can be terrifying. If you have tried to or are following your passion to its fullest extent, you understand how much it surprises me that this was so easy for me as a kid. There was no fear then. Only love and possibility. I have begun lately to reach back to those feelings that were full of love and excitement. Our business felt like a fun adventure, and that is why it was so easy for us to succeed (we sold a lot of stuff!). Below are the top four things my inner child taught me about living my business dreams and life in general: 1.) YES is just a door knock awayIf you think people bought things from us just because we were kids you'd be somewhat right. People did buy things from us, stuff I realized later they would never need nor did they really want. They did it because they wanted to support us - there is so much loving support in this world. However, for every person that wanted to cheer us on, there was one who was annoyed. Lots of people don't like to have their doorbells rung by strangers (even adorable young ones). They don't like to be bothered by earnest kids selling their homemade wares. They don't want to wonder what you really want, because when people come to your door, there's always that moment of suspicion. So they told us to go away. A lot. This, far from being discouraging, meant we were just at the wrong door. When someone slammed a door in our faces we didn't linger, wondering what had gone wrong. We ran with excitement to the next house. We didn't pause for one second to ask why they didn't like us and what we were offering. Why would we? Yes was just a door knock away. All we had to do was move on. So we did. As soon as we stepped away, we forgot the "no" and we talked about school, friends, life, and let each new door be that - a new door. 2.) You Get to Choose How You Feel About EverythingYou know those people I mentioned that told us to go away? Well one actually paid us money to go away and never come back. If someone paid me, as the person I am now, to stop what I'm doing I would be seriously shaken. I don't care how much money they gave me. I would feel deeply wounded, embarrassed and unsure of myself. Me as a kid though? Yeah that was totally awesome. If something had a shred of good in it, that was all I saw. I was not embarrassed by what had happened. I was THRILLED. I told EVERYONE. Why? Because he gave us TWO WHOLE DOLLARS. The average price point for our stuff was ten cents. The high end, this-took-a-long-time-to-make stuff cost a whole quarter. Paper money never touched our hands, only those precious coins. So when this person handed us dollar bills our eyes nearly bugged out of our heads. As soon as the man closed the door we turned to each other and laughed with delight. We were pumped because we would've had to have sold a lot of stuff to get that much money. And he just gave it to us! We never questioned if this meant we weren't worthy, if our products weren't worthy, if we should stop knocking on doors, or if we should feel bad we hadn't actually earned the money. All we saw was that something good had happened. That was all we needed to know. When we put those dollars in our jar full of nickels, dimes and quarters we were damn excited. It was not some signal people didn't want we had - it was a signal amazing things happen all the time. 3.) It Only Hurts If You Let ItSomething that has been so hard for me to relearn as an adult, with this business and my writing, is to take nothing personal. When someone leaves a mean comment, let it go. When someone doesn't understand my approach, let it go. As a kid, I never took people's reactions and rejections personal. Sometimes I even laughed. There was a time when we went to the house of a much older gentleman. He opened the door and saw we wanted to peddle our goods to him. Before we could even speak he began shouting at us. Now this man, being advanced in his years, had very loose skin around his neck. As he yelled and worked himself up, shaking his head in all his old man fury, this neck skin flapped back and forth. If this was me, and someone yelled at me like that, I would cower away. I would shrink and feel ashamed for trying to do what I do. As a kid? I stood in awe, watching the spiddle fly, and as soon as he closed the door... I laughed. We both did. All we saw was that neck flap. We laughed for hours, saying how his neck made him look like a turkey. Now, I want to be clear, I don't believe laughing at people is a good thing. I don't encourage making fun of others as a coping mechanism. What I mean to share here is that laughter in the face of adversity was our natural reaction. We did not laugh at that man because we felt joy and superiority in making fun of him. We laughed because the situation was funny to us. We chose what we wanted to take in from that moment. We had no interest in clinging to his angry yelling. All we wanted to remember, and all we did remember, was that he was the turkey man and he was funny. There will be many turkey people in your journey. Don't ever hold onto their angry ramblings. Don't ever put their opinion above your own. Just know that you can choose to be hurt and dejected by what they say, or you can choose to walk away, laugh and know that YES is just a door knock away. 4.) There Will ALWAYS Be People Who Want You To Do What You DoAs adults, we tend to get focused on all the no's. We obsess over the people who gave us two dollars to go away and never come back. We put all of our value and meaning in the turkey people who yell at us and want to make us feel wrong and bad.
The most valuable thing I learned from my childhood business is that there are always people who are so glad you do what you do. They thank God that you showed up on their doorstep to brighten their day with your unique gifts. No matter how many people were annoyed with our door to door business, there was always someone who was so glad we showed up. I know because I could see it in their eyes. I could see it in the way they looked at each thing in our cardboard box, treasuring the time they had with us. I could tell in the way they talked about how special our cards and yarn bags were. These were the people we lived for. We didn't have to remind ourselves of it. It was just obvious - these people matter. These were generally the people who were home all day, mostly older people. But it wasn't only lonely retirees who loved us. There were younger people dressed sharp, who perhaps worked from home or who had gone home on a break. They were sometimes the most excited, perhaps because we reminded them of their own entrepreneurial spirit. Or perhaps it was simply because they were having a bad day and we distracted them from it for a moment. The why doesn't matter. All that matters is we showed up. There will always be people who are annoyed with you and what you do. But you can't live for them. Because there are also always going to be people who are so full of joy and gratitude for you that you won't even be able to understand it. There will be people who's doorbell you ring at just the right moment, and you put a smile on their face, and they are so glad you are you, out doing what you do. Don't miss out on being a gift for someone who is looking for you. You might doubt those people are out there, and perhaps that's because you're too focused on being something for everybody. No one can do that - and no one is meant to, because we are meant to work together, each sharing our own unique piece of the pie. Nothing that comes your way in life is too much for you. We all go through challenges. Disappointments. Unfair situations. It's easy to let it overwhelm us, to where we think "This is too much. I can't deal with this illness. I can't handle this difficult child. Or, I can't take this traffic, it's driving me crazy!" God would not have allowed it if you couldn't handle it. But as long as you're telling yourself it's too much, you'll talk yourself out of it. You've got to get in agreement with God. You are not weak. You are full of can-do power. All through the day, whether you're stuck in traffic or facing a major disappointment, you're attitude should be, "I can handle it." I can handle this grouchy boss. I can handle this difficult child. I can handle these people talking about me. You can't have a weak, defeated mentality. You've got to have a warrior mentality. No person can keep you from your destiny. No bad break, no disappointment, no sickness. My mother was diagnosed with terminal liver cancer in 1981, given a few weeks to live. She could've fallen apart and thought, "God, it's not fair. I've served you all these years. I don't understand it." No, her attitude was, "I can handle it. I'm not a victim I'm a victor. Nothing can snatch me out of God's hands." This week, we're celebrating her 80th birthday - still strong and healthy, full of joy, full of peace. God is in complete control. The most powerful force in the Universe is breathing in your direction. You don't have to get upset when things don't go your way. You have the power to remain calm. You can handle any situation. Quit letting little things steal your joy. Every day is a gift from God. - Joel Osteen Podcast "You Can Handle It" 3/27/19 Have you ever planted the seed of a flower? How did you know it would grow? The seed has no brain. No eyes. No map to the surface. There's no switch you flip that says, "And now you are in soil so you will grow!" The seed just knows it's in soil. But what is it that understands this? Again, there is no brain. How is it the seed understands that the pull of gravity is where roots go? How does it even sense gravity? What is it sensing this with? And how does it process this and react accordingly? What if the seed misunderstood and grew sideways? What if it didn't understand what roots are for, and it didn't absorb nutrients from the soil? Worse still, what if it came thisclose to sprouting, but it gave up because it believed the darkness would go on forever? The idea that a seed has no idea how to become a flower seems illogical. We know the seed's roots will grow down and it's head will reach up. We know the soil pressing upon it isn't suffocating or crushing it, it's bringing it to life. Even though we can't see it, we know it's growing, we know all is well. We know that in a single moment it will break free of the darkness and spring forth into the light. No matter how long it takes, we keep watering it, because we know there are divine forces guiding it. There's a magic to the whole process, a magic we rarely think about, we simply take it for granted. And yet, when it comes to our own dreams, desires and lives we lose all belief in the magic of this world. That very same divine energy that guides a growing seed permeates us too. It has to. How else could we go from being one single cell to a dynamic and complex being with a head, arms, organs and so on? We do not live by different rules than the natural world. We aren't separate from nature. We are as natural and divinely guided as every flower on this earth. We are created from that same magic and we are the magic. It's in our DNA. It's in our life force. So why do we doubt that our dreams have their own divine forces guiding them to the surface? When things we want don't blossom right away we tend to fall into despair and doubt. The more we doubt the more we give up on the seeds growing within us. We turn away from them, refuse to nourish them, and believe there is only barren soil within us. We neglect our inner garden and allow it to be taken over with the weeds of fear, anger and disappointment. But it's okay. No matter how deeply they have taken root, all weeds can be ripped out. The soil can be replanted with love, happiness and excitement. And even though we can't see it happening, we will know, our dreams will blossom. We ourselves will blossom. All we must do is trust in the divine forces that guide everything and continue to follow our intuition. Our intuition is the same thing that guides a seed's roots down and its head up. As our seeds grow within we can nourish them with positive beliefs, loving thoughts and encouraging feelings. That's all we must do. Trust in the magic. Believe in what we can't see. Nourish the good stuff. Keep the weeds away. And when there is that moment, that single moment, when it all breaks free from the darkness of gestation and springs forth into the light, we might take a moment to marvel in the magic. To give gratitude to the divine forces. To give gratitude to ourselves for bringing forth roses and orchids in a world that too quickly expects weeds. I'm currently enrolled in the mindbodygreen course 'Guided Visualizations' by Emily Fletcher. Visualization is a powerful tool that many professionals, particularly athletes, intuitively know is the key to a positive outcome. I initially began with the video to help put a person at ease when interviewing, hoping it would help ease my anxiousness whenever I have to pitch a story idea. At first I wasn't sure if it was working, but I have been noticing lately subtle changes in how I feel. I feel less afraid overall, which I think is in part because in the visualization she says to see yourself walking into the room and knowing you belong there . This in itself caused a big shift in how I view myself and my place in this world. I stopped playing the interview video and decided today I was ready for the one that really scares me - public speaking. Eep! I have tangled with my fear of public speaking for years. What I know about this fear is it's the fear of being seen and not being liked. On a deeper level, it's the fear of confrontation, because I'm afraid I'll say something someone won't like and they'll want to confront me about it. When I sat down to play the video I wasn't as nervous as I expected I would be. Yes, even the idea of visualizing public speaking makes me nervous. This tells me that perhaps the first visualization was doing more than I realized. Emily began by talking about when she was nervous to give a talk at Google Headquarters, and her husband said something to the effect of, "Stop thinking of it as having only two possible outcomes - success or failure. There's a whole range of points on the scale in between!" This shift in perspective released so much weight off of me. I could see how this more open perspective applies to so many things in life. More often than not, we do a good enough job. There are hardly any times when we do such an atrocious job that we feel we totally bombed. And yet, we approach most things with the expectation of either knocking it out of the park or blowing it in epic proportions. And when we don't have a slam dunk success, we automatically deem it a failure. But what about all the shades of gray in between those two black and white points? Before this, I really was fixated on two ways my public speaking (and most things in my life) would go - absolute success or absolute failure. That doesn't leave a lot of room for growth. It doesn't allow me to start at hey I didn't pass out from nerves, that went better than I thought! It doesn't allow me to start where I am and then say, you know what, that was good enough. I got up there, I did my thing, and it was fine. I know it's not exciting, but sometimes aiming for "good enough" is just what we need to calm our minds and stop the anxiety train. It feels great to know we nailed something and did the absolute best we could, but starting with "good enough" or even "I made it through" might be what we need in order to get to, "That was the best I've ever done!" I'm going to try using this new approach when I feel overwhelmed by the fear and doubt that tends to creep in when I'm putting myself out there. I believe it could help take the pressure off, and when there's no pressure things tend to unfold as they're meant to. If you would like to try out some guided visualization, I have a package of nine Empowering Visualizations here. They are offered on a donation basis - pay what you can when you can.
Infinite riches are all around you if you will open your mental eyes and behold the treasure house of infinity within you.
There is a gold mine within you from which you can extract everything you need to live life gloriously, joyously, and abundantly. Many are sound asleep because they do not know about this gold mine of infinite intelligence and boundless love within themselves. Whatever you want, you can draw forth. A magnetized piece of steel will lift about twelve times its own weight, and if you demagnetize this same piece of steel, it will not even lift a feather. Similarly, there are two types of people. There is the magnetized person who is full of confidence and faith. They know that they are born to win and to succeed. Then, there is the type of person who is demagnetized. They are full of fears and doubts. Opportunities come, and they say, "I might fail; I might lose my money; people will laugh at me." This type of person will not get very far in life because, if they are afraid to go forward, they will simply stay where they are. Become a magnetized person and discover the secret of the ages. - The Power of Your Subconscious Mind, Chapter 1 |