​This Sunday, September 25th, is a new moon. This meditation was created specifically to work with the energy of the new moon, and not only that, but it's infused with beautiful Reiki healing energy! It was used during our last Reiki healing circle and contains all the good energy of that healing. You can use it this Sunday, or anytime during the days before and after.

​During this 22 minute meditation, you will experience a deep, soulful connection between yourself, Luna, and the Divine Feminine. This powerful healing energy will help you to release what you're done with and to receive what you're ready for. You will plant the seeds of what you want next in your life, nurture them, and experience the beauty of consciously co-creating with the Universe! This is a deeply relaxing, restorative, and soothing meditation. 

If you'd like to download a copy of this meditation without the intro, it comes as a complimentary gift when you join our next Reiki healing circle! You can learn more about it below. Not only is this offering a beautiful way to uplift and nourish your life, but it includes a New moon workbook that you can use in conjunction with this meditation!
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When I began my spiritual path, I kept hearing people use the expression "It wasn't meant to be" when things didn't turn out how they wanted.

They saw this as a way of surrendering to the Universe and acknowledging that a bigger plan was unfolding, and they just had to trust the process. It sounded good, but it never felt right or good for me to use it. Part of the problem was that I often felt pressured to say it myself. As in, if I expressed disappointment or regret or anything that didn't say, "It's all good!" and smile and nod, that I was somehow doing it wrong.

I didn't like being pushed through difficult emotions faster than I was ready to process them. And I really didn't like being judged and even shamed for having emotions that people considered taboo or somehow beneath them. Heavy and intense feelings, like anger and desperation, were treated like crimes I was committing against my soul. I was stunned that so many people equated spirituality with never, for a second, feeling or thinking anything negative.

This just didn't make sense to me. I'm human. I have a wide range of human emotions. When things don't go how I hoped, and I am flailing in feelings of failure and despair, the last thing I need is to have my feelings diminished and swept aside. I need to feel what I'm feeling. I'm feeling it for a reason. And bypassing my feelings and telling me, "Cheer up, it's all working out how it's supposed to!" makes me feel invalidated. It makes me feel like I'm not being seen or heard, and this in itself is a frustrating thing to feel. But I don't feel allowed to feel my frustration because everything is happening the way it's supposed to and that frustration builds, and before I know it, I feel like absolute shit.

And what am I supposed to do with the shit? I can't suppress it, because I know that anything that gets suppressed will come roaring back with 1,000 times the force. If I try to ignore or bypass my feelings, they WILL find a way to get my attention.

All I can do is feel them. Feel the darkness. Feel the intensity. Feel the RAGE if that's where I'm at. 

Feel it all. 

​Feel your insides and feel all that uncomfortable shit and embrace the fact that you are a human who is very much in touch with their humanity. To be human, to feel love and compassion and deep connection with others, requires to feel things deeply. And to feel deeply, we must be able to feel the high and the low. If you try to blunt out one side and block the low feelings, you will also blunt out the high, because feelings come as a package deal. 

You feel them all or you feel only some or even none.

Not only that, but we're meant to feel those so-called negative emotions for a reason. They're telling us something, and that something is important. The disappointment is our inner self speaking to us, and letting us know what we truly want and desire. If things don't turn out how we wanted, and we just shrug and say, "Oh well. Everything happens for a reason," we are denying ourselves a very intimate and important experience with our inner self.

We are essentially silencing our own inner world. We're telling ourselves that what we want and feel doesn't matter, and we just need to SMILE big and stop acting like our very our real needs are important. We should never, even for a second, express that we have needs, right? We need to be STRONG and never show weakness and never show sadness or pain or that we can't do it all alone -

I'm sorry, but no. Fuck that. Sorry for the strong language, but to say you aren't allowed to feel your feelings and you just have to be happy and trusting the Universe all the time is not how humans work. It's not how you work. You deserve better than that. You deserve so much better. You deserve to be loved, supported, and held like the tender, divine being that you are. To say we should never need something, never show even a hint of negative emotion because that's "weak" or somehow not spiritual, that's the kind of thinking that destroys people from the inside.

To go through something that went so horribly different than you expected, and to throw your hands up at the sky and say, "WHY!? Why is this happening?" is not weakness. It's not spiritually wrong. It's not shameful. It's not bad. It's POWERFUL.

It's you acknowledging that YOU are here, and you have needs, you have wants, and those are IMPORTANT. Deep in your soul, you want something different than what you got and YOU ARE ALLOWED TO ASK FOR THAT.

By using phrases like "It wasn't meant to be" or "everything happens for a reason," we negate our ability to ASK for something different. We silence our own desires. We silence our voice. We silence ourselves. We stop being participants in our lives and become passengers.

For all the people who felt they could never ask for what they want. Who felt that their needs were the last priority. Who felt that they had to smile and make everyone else comfortable before their own self. For everyone who felt they had to put everyone else first, let me say this again,

YOU ARE ALLOWED TO ASK FOR WHAT YOU WANT.

You are allowed to ask for something different than what you got. You are allowed to say, "This is not right for me, SHOW ME SOMETHING DIFFERENT."

I want to be clear here that asking for something different isn't about asking for YOU to be different. You were born as a divinely perfect gift to this world, and who you are is who you were created to be. You belong here. You are valid. You are good and worthy, just as you are.

But you can most certainly ask for more support for who you are. You can ask for more love. For a place to live that suits you better. You can ask for people who love you for you. You cannot ask to be a different you (and I sincerely hope you know you truly are eternally perfect, no matter what anyone says), but you can ask for the you that you are to be celebrated and cherished and shown what gifts you have to share.

Not only are you allowed to give input on your own life, but you're SUPPPOSED TO. This can be a scary thing, particularly if you were taught that bad things happen when you try to make yourself a priority (I feel you). To learn how to feel that your needs are important, you will most likely need more help than this blog post can offer. A good therapist, a coach, even a trusted friend, can help you with sorting out why you feel you must always come last.

But there's one thing you can do right now. You can stop saying, "It's okay. Everything happens for a reason." When you're not okay, and things in your world are not okay, feel it. Acknowledge it. And if the people around you don't want to hear it, and they just want you to smile and move on, then you probably need new people in your life. I'm not saying to cut those people off, but realize that they are not qualified to be your emotional support system, and you will reduce the influence they have on your life so new and better people can show up for you.

At the same time, you can say some really powerful phrases that will work WITH how you're feeling. Here are some ones I'd love to share with you:

• ​This wasn't what I wanted. I'm open to being surprised by something new that nourishes and fulfills me.
• I don't know how I got here, but it's not where I want to be. Show me how to get to a better place.
• Show me how to feel worthy of what I desire
• I am a good and worthy person. May my outer world reflect this worthiness back to me.
• I deserve love, success and happiness. What step can I take now to welcome those things into my life?
• I am allowed to receive unconditionally. I am allowed to have all my dreams made manifest.
• I feel lost. Guide me back to my path and my purpose.

And remember, always, that there is no one in this Universe more deserving than you. No one is born more special. We're all different and unique and valuable in our own way. You deserve to have everything you can dream of brought to you, and in ways that are better than you ever imagined.

As we enter the cozy and nourishing fall season, I wanted to embrace the beautiful energy of release and surrender that comes with it. Along with a guided meditation based around fall that you can find in the members-only area, I also created these healing journal prompts to help you make the most of this time of year.

These journal prompts are designed to work with the fall energy, and so they are all about letting go, surrender, and clearing space for what's next in your life. After each question, you will have a few minutes to write and reflect. I encourage you to grab your journal, a pen, light a candle, and settle in for some self-reflection and self-care.

Along with listening along to the journal prompts, you can download a PDF of them above. I encourage you to follow along from the episode, as it will guide you through a grounding and centering exercise before you begin. However, if you are less auditory and you like to read things, feel free to print them out and have them on hand to use during the episode!

Below you will find a transcript of this episode. If you know someone would who enjoy these journal prompts, please share the PDF, the episode, or both! Thank you so much!

​​TRANSCRIPT: Hello and welcome to The Healing Sanctuary. Before I start this episode, I want to let you know I’m going to be leading you through some journal and reflection questions today. So as I do a little introduction here, you can keep listening and find yourself a notebook, a pen, maybe a comfy place to sit, and get yourself ready to reflect and spend some time nourishing your inner world. 

When a friend recommended I watch the movie Violet, I knew exactly which film she was referring to. I'd been interested in it because I'd heard the lead character struggles with anxiety and intrusive thoughts.

Other than knowing the movie dealt with anxiety, I really didn't know what to expect when I put it on. Within the first few minutes, the film showed how Violet struggles with a stream of negative internal dialogue all day. It is constant. And it is jarring.

In all honesty, it made me uncomfortable at times. Not because what she was thinking was outrageous and unbelievable - but because it was so BELIEVABLE. A large amount of things she thought I think myself. To hear my own thoughts being spoken out loud, and seeing the impact and pain they cause, was both captivating and unnerving.

​However, seeing those thoughts made manifest on Violet was not all bad. In fact, there was something deeply reassuring about knowing I'm not the only one who thinks stuff like that. Because my negative thoughts are so vicious, they feel specific to me, which makes them seem true. My stream goes something like You're a loser, no one actually believes in you, people pretend to respect you but they really think you're worthless. But... if everyone has similar thoughts, then they aren't really specific to me. We all learned the same bullshit, and it doesn't define a single one of us.

As the movie goes along, Violet begins to confront her thoughts. She begins taking steps to set herself free from the prison of self-attack. I don't want to tell you exactly what she does or how it unfolds, because I think it would be more powerful to see it for yourself.

If you struggle with anxiety, intrusive thoughts, fear, and/or low self-esteem, I highly HIGHLY recommend you watch this film. It had a profound effect on me, and has literally changed how I deal with my inner monologue. The movie is really well done, relatable, and in the end, will give you a sense of hope that maybe wasn't there before.

I rented the movie for $4.99 on Redbox, and when I looked for it, I also saw it available to rent on Amazon, iTunes, and Vudu.

​After you watch it, come back and do the meditation I made that was inspired by the movie. It's all about finding your true, loving inner voice. The one that resides below the stream of negative self-talk, which we usually can't hear because the negative voice is talking over it. This meditation will help you to hear what your inner self ACTUALLY wants to say to you, and how loving and supportive it really is.

Violet stars Olivia Munn, Justin Theroux, and Luke Bracey. It was written and directed by Justine Bateman. Quick summary: Violet realizes that her entire life is built on fear-based decisions, and must do everything differently to become her true self.

Heal your critical inner voice with this guided meditation. It's donation based and I welcome you to leave what feels right to you.

Welcome to this week's episode of the free edition of ​The Healing Sanctuary! This week, we're talking about your eternal validity. What is it that makes you sacred, in every moment, with every breath you take?

This episode is a deep dive into your own creation and divinity. It's going to take you on a beautiful journey through the Universe, and show you a different perspective on yourself and your place in it. We're also going to hear and talk about one of my all time favorite quotes, which you can hear a preview of through my Instagram below!

I can't wait for you to join me in this soul nourishing conversation. It's a topic that's close to my heart, as I often struggle with my own sense of worthiness and eternal divinity.
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These public episodes are provided as a service to all who are on a healing journey, in need of some support, and in the process of awakening to their powerful inner self. You can find the private, members only version of The Healing Sanctuary here!

​Below, you will find a transcript of this episode (it's based on my notes and is not an exact replica of the episode). If you know someone who would benefit from this talk, please share it! You can find me on all the podcast apps, including Spotify and iTunes, under The Healing Sanctuary. These podcast episodes are free resources for anyone who needs it, and separate from my membership service.

Hello and welcome to The Healing Sanctuary! This week I’m talking about the innate value inherent in every single human, including you. This is the divine value and worthiness we are all born with, that you can never lose or diminish in any way. This divine, innate value is as eternal as you are, and with every breath you take, you breathe as a sacred being with the entire Universe. You ARE the Universe.

This is something I want to talk about, because seeing myself from this perspective has helped me through some of my hardest times. When I am drowning in low self-esteem and anxiety and a sense of worthlessness, and I cannot get out of it, this has always been the thing that could pull me out. It feels like it just cuts through all the noise and all the stories and the external bullshit and gets me back to my self. It gets me back to that safe place inside of me that is warm and loving and always knows, I am worthy, and I am here for a reason.

Right now, I want you to take a few deep breaths and repeat to yourself, “I am the universe.”
What do those words mean to you? Do you feel like there is the Universe, and then there is you? Or do you feel like there is the Universe, the wholeness of its magnificent expanse, and that you are one with that wholeness? Do you see yourself as woven into the cosmos, or do you see yourself as separate?

Take another deep breath. I am the Universe.
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There is no point where the Universe ends and you begin. It’s not like there is the entire, spectacular Universe, and then somehow, from outside of all that cosmic wonder, you were accidentally created and then plopped into this world. You are not separate from everything out there, you are within it. When you look out, you see the Universe, and when everything out there looks back at you, it also sees the Universe. What you see when you look outwards looks back at you with the same wonder and awe.

Welcome to this week's episode of the free edition of ​The Healing Sanctuary! Today, we're talking about affirmations, how they work, and why they sometimes don't work (and even make you feel worse!)

Affirmations are words that carry high vibrations. When these vibrations interact with our energy, they either vibrate in harmony with us or against us. This will cause our own energy to accelerate in the direction it's currently going in.

In order to understand how affirmations work (and why they sometimes don't), we need to understand how our brains process thoughts. We're going to get a brief overview of this, discuss how our thoughts work WITH or AGAINST affirmations, and then we'll do a meditation with affirmations for self-love, confidence, and self-worth.

If you are NOT in a space where affirmations help you, and they are making you feel worse right now, then you'll want to checkout my course on the power of meditation and visualization. It will help you right where you are, and it will teach you things about healing and your own self that you probably have never heard before. Get this course HERE.
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These public episodes are provided as a service to all who are on a healing journey, in need of some support, and in the process of awakening to their powerful inner self. You can find the private, members only version of The Healing Sanctuary here!

Below, you will find a transcript of this episode (it's based on my notes and is not an exact replica of the episode). If you know someone who would benefit from this talk, please share it! You can find me on all the podcast apps, including Spotify and iTunes, under The Healing Sanctuary. These podcast episodes are free resources for anyone who needs it, and separate from my membership service.

Hello and welcome to The Healing Sanctuary. I’m your host Melissa Field. This week, I’m talking about affirmations, how they work, and why they aren’t always something we want to use. If you’ve ever felt worse or irritated or agitated while trying to use affirmations, I’m going to talk about why that happens, and what you would want to use instead when you’re in that space, which by the way, is a common feeling and one I’ve experienced a lot.

After our brief discussion, we’re going to have a 10 minute meditation with some affirmations for self-love, confidence, and self-worth. This meditation was included in my private membership this week, and if you enjoy the meditation you can download it and over 100 other ones by becoming a member, which I’ll tell you more about at the end of the episode.

To talk about how affirmations work, and why they sometimes don’t work at all, we need to talk briefly about how thoughts form in your brain. If you listened to my episode on intrusive and negative self-talk, then this will be a brief recap of some stuff we covered there.

When you think a thought, neurons in your brain fire together. These neurons will then fire and wire with similar thoughts, creating what is known as a neuron cluster. The more you think certain thoughts, the stronger and bigger a neuron cluster becomes. Your brain runs on electricity, and because electricity takes energy, it defaults to the neuron clusters that are the biggest or the most dominant in order to save energy.

So let’s say you’ve repeatedly thought to yourself, “I am a capable person.” As you go about your day, and you encounter obstacles in your work or your life, your brain flows its energy through the filter of your most dominant thoughts. When you’re facing a work challenge, your brain does not default to, “I can’t do it. I’m not good enough. I’m just going to get fired,” but rather, it goes to the neuron cluster that is running your dominant narrative or thought pattern, which is “I am a capable person”.  And in this cluster are all the similar thoughts, which leads you to conclude, “I can do this. I can find solutions. I can figure this out because I know what I’m doing.” And then of course these thoughts fire with the original thought, “I am a capable person,” and this neuron cluster gets stronger and your faith in yourself builds and the momentum goes on and on in this way.

This, in part, is how affirmations help us. They affirm to us things that help our energy flow in productive and positive ways. And as you may be guessing, if this is not your dominant way of thinking, affirmations will not flow with your thoughts, but AGAINST them, and this resistance is what makes them feel so out of alignment and wrong when we’re not ready for them.

If you do not have positive thoughts, and you have never once thought, I’m capable, there is absolutely nothing wrong with you, and this is not your fault. How negative inner stories develop was covered fully in the episode on negative self-talk, and I just want you to know for now,  people do not have positive self-talk because they are more worthy or somehow better than you. All they had were different experiences that caused their neurons to fire together in a different way. That’s it. The only difference between you and a person who feels good about themselves is some tiny electrical pulses in the brain firing in different patterns.

As you can see, so much of who you believe you are is thoughts you think over and over, sometimes so often you don’t even realize they’re thoughts. Often times, the seed of a negative thought will be planted in our minds, perhaps by a parent or teacher, someone we trusted to guide our sense of self, and that seed might say something like, “You’re not good enough.” These seeds grow into deep roots, and we sometimes want to change them through affirmations, and when that doesn’t work, we can feel like we’re failing, or even worse, like this is just who we are.

The truth is, when affirmations don’t work, it’s not because they will never work and your thoughts will never change. All it means is your energy is not yet flowing in that direction, and you need to take a few steps before they can be effective.

What are the steps you would take? The first is to just acknowledge where you are and how you feel. A lot of times affirmations don’t work because something inside of us is trying to be seen and heard, and affirmations make that wounded part of us feel more invisible, which makes it shout louder to be heard. So if your affirmations aren’t working, try putting your hands on your heart, closing your eyes, taking some deep breaths and just repeating “I see you and I hear you.” Let yourself be with the part of yourself that’s hurting and give it some love. The love you give yourself when you’re feeling low, critical, and wounded is the seed upon which positive thoughts will grow, and so loving yourself when you’re hurting doesn’t mean you want to stay in that place. It means you are worthy of being loved, seen, and heard no matter what, and that is a powerful foundation upon which to build a new neural network.

So how exactly do affirmations work?