When a friend recommended I watch the movie Violet, I knew exactly which film she was referring to. I'd been interested in it because I'd heard the lead character struggles with anxiety and intrusive thoughts.
Other than knowing the movie dealt with anxiety, I really didn't know what to expect when I put it on. Within the first few minutes, the film showed how Violet struggles with a stream of negative internal dialogue all day. It is constant. And it is jarring.
In all honesty, it made me uncomfortable at times. Not because what she was thinking was outrageous and unbelievable - but because it was so BELIEVABLE. A large amount of things she thought I think myself. To hear my own thoughts being spoken out loud, and seeing the impact and pain they cause, was both captivating and unnerving.
However, seeing those thoughts made manifest on Violet was not all bad. In fact, there was something deeply reassuring about knowing I'm not the only one who thinks stuff like that. Because my negative thoughts are so vicious, they feel specific to me, which makes them seem true. My stream goes something like You're a loser, no one actually believes in you, people pretend to respect you but they really think you're worthless. But... if everyone has similar thoughts, then they aren't really specific to me. We all learned the same bullshit, and it doesn't define a single one of us.
As the movie goes along, Violet begins to confront her thoughts. She begins taking steps to set herself free from the prison of self-attack. I don't want to tell you exactly what she does or how it unfolds, because I think it would be more powerful to see it for yourself.
If you struggle with anxiety, intrusive thoughts, fear, and/or low self-esteem, I highly HIGHLY recommend you watch this film. It had a profound effect on me, and has literally changed how I deal with my inner monologue. The movie is really well done, relatable, and in the end, will give you a sense of hope that maybe wasn't there before.
I rented the movie for $4.99 on Redbox, and when I looked for it, I also saw it available to rent on Amazon, iTunes, and Vudu.
After you watch it, come back and do the meditation I made that was inspired by the movie. It's all about finding your true, loving inner voice. The one that resides below the stream of negative self-talk, which we usually can't hear because the negative voice is talking over it. This meditation will help you to hear what your inner self ACTUALLY wants to say to you, and how loving and supportive it really is.
Violet stars Olivia Munn, Justin Theroux, and Luke Bracey. It was written and directed by Justine Bateman. Quick summary: Violet realizes that her entire life is built on fear-based decisions, and must do everything differently to become her true self.
Heal your critical inner voice with this guided meditation. It's donation based and I welcome you to leave what feels right to you.
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