I originally read this piece on Monique Muro's blog. I love what she writes about and asked if she would let me share this post here. For more posts about living your passions and letting life love you visit her site, Return to Love. You may also want to check out her 30 day self-love morning practice, which I just finished re-listening to myself.
This one goes out to all of the people who feel guilty for having really good days. Or for those who expect nothing but doom after having a really good day.
(Scoot over so I can read this too).
Now from what I know about life, we have a bit of trouble relaxing. Even when things are going good.
There are days when I am so, so grateful for all of the good things in my life. I’ll wake up in my nice warm bed, in my beautiful apartment, take a nice hot shower, and pick out the day’s apparel from an extremely packed closet full of clothes. I’ll think damn, how did I get so lucky?
Then I’ll see the boyfriend and feel more lucky. I’ll show up to work and feel even more lucky.
And suddenly, in all of this gratitude, I’ll become afraid that it’s all too good. That things are just going too good. Do you have this fear sometimes? It’s almost like I’m expecting trouble to rear it’s ugly head somewhere because things are going so great. Some inner voice says, watch out Monique, things are going good now but just wait, it won’t last forever. Something bad’s bound to happen.
The good thing about Hay House Radio is, it’s taught me to let life love me. (Rest assured, life loves you too.)
Take a Look Around At The Good
Without us really thinking about it, life gives us warm beds to sleep in every single night. It gives us two eyes to see everything with. It gives us such beautiful and diverse faces. We can stand up and sit down and wiggle all around whenever we want. We have a few good people in our life. We aren’t chained. We’re so free, and we’re so wonderful, and it’s okay to recognize and appreciate this freedom for what it is.
It’s Okay to Enjoy It
It’s okay to get into your safe, beautiful car and let the wind and sun hit your face. It’s okay when good things happen to you, because they’re happening for a reason. There’s no bad in it. It’s just raw, simple good. Take it at face value. No one says you can only have one good day, or one good moment. In fact your whole life can be good. (Say what?!)
I know that sometimes though, it’s hard to enjoy the good. Sometimes I’ll see something on the news about some kid dying at the hands of their own parents. I’ll see people who are without homes due to fires and natural disasters. I’ll hear about other people who are drowning in sorrow and I’ll think, wow. Is it okay for me to be happy when so much ungodly despair and negativity pervades some parts of the world?
And I’ll feel really, really guilty about having good things in my life. Like absurdly guilty. And then that whole doom and gloom feeling washes over me, like something bad is about to happen because look around! There’s bad everywhere!
Ask Yourself, Is Guilt Going to Help?
What I’ve learned from listening to Hay House Radio these past few days is that it’s normal and okay to feel guilty about things, but you have to ask yourself, how much is feeling guilty helping the situation? Is your guilt going to solve the problems of the world?
That’s a firm no. When life shows up in monumentally good ways, you have to let it love you. There’s a reason you’re where you are today, and where you are not. The universe is looking after you, whether you believe in it or not, and somehow this exceedingly good day landed in your lap. It’s a gift. Would you give away a gift someone gave to you out of love, just because you felt guilty for having it? There are a lot of things we deserve in this life, and gifts of love make up many of them.
Say It A Few Times
Yes, it’s time to get tribal. Life loves me. Say it out loud, or say it under your breath, any way so that it really sticks. Life loves me. It may seem awkward at first, or even a bit self-serving, as though we don’t deserve to walk around saying or thinking this. But that’s just our good ole’ ego getting in the way of everything. Per usual. So say it until it makes you feel good.
Life loves me.
It’s a real spirit lifter. Because after you say the ‘life loves me’ part, you can say ‘and I love life’. And then you have this beautiful relationship thing going on.
And when you hear about or see horribly heinous things happening in the world, remember that life loves those people too. It’s just that life is ALL OVER THE PLACE. It’s literally everywhere. It’s despair, it’s gladness, it’s crazy, it’s joy, it’s weird, it’s scary, it’s mysterious, it’s wobbly, it’s grey, it’s peach, it’s all over the fucking Google map. And yes, we have our heinous moments too. We don’t have worry-free lives. There are really unfortunate things that have happened to us, too.
But we also have good. And the people who are going through something heinous also have good. These horrible things aren’t an indicator of how our life is going to go, or that we don’t deserve the gifts we have. No two people’s experiences are the same. Different things happen to us for different reasons.
So if you’re feeling happy, stay there. Life is loving you in this very moment, the same way it’s been loving you since the first time you opened those big, beautiful eyes and took in your very first breath. Explore the way life loves you, and be grateful for it. Let it love you in your warm bed, in your nice car, in your beautiful face. Somewhere along the way, you did a few good things that got you to this good place. Be there to enjoy it.
Now of course, I wouldn’t recommend bragging about how good life is going for you to everyone you meet, obviously we’re talking about internal good stuff here, but you get the picture.
When things are going good for you, let them go good. Be grateful, and enjoy this goodness. Meditate on it. Enjoy it like the first bite of a greasy, cheesy pepperoni pizza.
Good is not guilt. Good is not doom. Good is good. And it sure as hell doesn’t have to be fleeting.
Yesterday I woke up with a strong urge to get out of town.
I really wanted to go to the beach, but I'd stayed out late the night before and I was feeling the weight of it. Driving for two hours over and down through the Santa Cruz mountains did not seem like the most sound idea. But I could not ignore this urge to just throw a sweater in a bag and go. I could stop for coffee along the way if I needed, and naps at the beach are the best.
As the sun continued to come up more and the day warmed I knew I had to go. We have had some glorious and much needed rain here, but it has left me missing the sun and spending time outside. So I threw my stuff into a tote, filled my travel mug with coffee and motivated myself right into the car.
Once I was at the beach I was so glad. I couldn't imagine having spent the day at home, lounging inside. This felt right. And the fact that I hadn't planned it, and I had just gone also felt right. I often forget how important it is to let a day unfold without plans or expectations, living in the moment and letting myself be surprised along the way. It always makes me feel so open, and I can feel how that openness is an attraction point for other new things.
There are times when I feel like my life is on a bit of a loop. I do my work, I go for a run, I go to yoga, and it isn't always on a set schedule, but I'm most certainly circling around the same locations and events week in and week out. Once I got to Santa Cruz I picked a burger place near the beach. I'd never been to this one before, and it was refreshing to step into a totally new place, know nothing about it, expect nothing, and enjoy the feeling of the unknown.
After I hung around the beach for awhile (and took that much needed nap) I decided to head over to the boardwalk. I wanted to grab some of their food, which is never healthy but always reminds me of fun times and happy memories. Once there I was surprised to see the boardwalk flooded with thousands of people, which is unusual for this time of year. It was then that I realized they were doing a clam chowder cook off.
For only $10 I got a testing set, which includes the cup, spoon, six tickets and a people's choice ballot. You could choose any six booths you want to sample and then vote on which ever one you felt was the best. I love clam chowder, and I was thrilled to have stumbled upon this event. I found out later this is the largest and longest running clam chowder cook off in the country - what a lucky find!
Going from booth to booth, tasting the delicious soup, feeling the excitement of competition and mingling with the other happy patrons was the best part of the day. Had I not made the spontaneous decision to go to the beach, I would have missed out on this fantastic event.
And this is why it's important to be spontaneous - you have no idea what or who is going to show up when you deviate from your normal loop. You never know what magic you will come across. And that feeling of being happy and receptive is the best place you can get into in order to welcome all kinds of other things into your life. If your energy is like an antenna, receiving things on the channel you are set to, feeling happy, open and free is going to bring in other things that make you feel happy, open and free.
If you are feeling stuck in a rut, like nothing good or interesting ever shows up, then find a way to break your routine. Driving for two hours to the beach isn't always possible, but changing course in small ways can work just as well. Cook something you normally wouldn't. Say hello to a stranger. Change your hair. And remember, there are infinite possibilities happening at all times, and the more you engage in the free flow of life, the more you will see how true this is.
If I can stop one heart from breaking,
I shall not live in vain:
If I can ease one life the aching,
Or cool one pain,
Or help one fainting robin
Unto his nest again,
I shall not live in vain.
- Emily Dickinson