When it comes to the positive-thought movement, there is a slow but steady under current that I see growing in strength as a result.
It's a current that pulls with full force below the surface, slowly dragging a person back out to the dark depths that they are fighting so hard to get away from. It does not matter how hard you kick and swim. If a current is stronger than you, it will eventually overpower you and drain all of your strength until you have no choice but to surrender. This current, for most people, is all of the feelings they repress. Anger. Sadness. Guilt. Fear. All of those emotions that the positive-thought movement has told us are bad and need to be avoided. The concept that we should constantly focus on and live in a positive and happy place arose from good intentions. A lot of it swept in when the law of attraction became a huge trend. The law of attraction came with a lot of wonderful and much needed information. From it, I learned a lot about how my thoughts become my reality, what it means to create my life from within, and how to tear down limitations I created in my mind. I have also enjoyed all of the benefits of choosing to focus on the positive as much as possible. I've seen time and time again that when I'm grateful and excited about life the Universe responds in kind. More stuff for me to be grateful and excited about shows up. However, this does not mean I have stopped feeling "negative" feelings at times. That is not what life is about. Life is about growing and expanding, and as you do so, you will undoubtedly come into periods where you feel things that scare you or make you sad. This is in fact a good thing, because it means you are challenging yourself and taking continual steps outside of your comfort zone. But because so much attention was heaped upon the idea that like attracts like, there's almost a paranoia for many people to NEVER AGAIN think a negative thing. Don't think about what makes you angry, because you'll attract more of it. Don't feel sad because you'll perpetually find things in your life to be sad about. If you're trying to bypass your disappointment or frustration because you think those feelings are going to ruin your life, you're jumping into waters with a dangerous undercurrent. And worse, if you're living your life in a way that prioritizes avoiding all so-called negative thoughts and feelings, you're going to hold yourself back. Big time. Life is not about avoiding what makes you feel the dark stuff. Life is about jumping in and letting yourself feel what you feel, and knowing that it's all working for your highest good, so long as you allow it to. Those feelings of frustration and sadness, they're trying to show you something. Something important. As an example, I recently had an article published in an online magazine. They edited my article so heavily that it was no longer written in my voice. It was basically rewritten, and what I wanted to share was so heavily diluted down I ended up hating the version that was published. When I saw this, I was at first freaked out. What was wrong with what I’d written? The more I thought about it, the more angry I became. There were some people in my life who immediately tried to push me onto the positive-thought bandwagon. "You should be grateful they even published you! It's a huge honor! Be excited and use that feeling to generate more good stuff!" You know what I say to that? Bullshit. I am not afraid of my own feelings. I am also not a doormat. Just going along with this experience and claiming it was all good would have made me feel like I had lost all my gumption. It also would have kept me from getting the amazing clarity and realizations that were trying to surface with the anger and disappointment. What I realized is, it's not okay for an editor to treat me like I don't exist. It's not okay for someone to rewrite my words. It's not okay for someone to take my creation and soulful expression, which came from my heart, and turn it into something else without my permission. As I felt my anger, I could feel how much I believe in my own writing. If I didn't allow myself to feel the anger, I would be subconsciously saying this experience was okay. And you know what that means? It would happen again. And again. And again. This is the power of negative feelings. They will help you to know with perfect clarity what you want in your life and don't want. And you will send out a clear signal with your thoughts that says NO to what you don't want. If you go straight into trying to sugarcoat it all and being happy, then you will have gained nothing from the experience. And worse, the feelings that you repress will still be working their mojo. Just because you don't allow a feeling to arise into conscious awareness doesn't mean it loses its charge. It's in fact the opposite. Things you repress still have an attraction factor. Which is how so many people end up feeling the law of attraction doesn't work for them. They walk around thinking positive thoughts over and over. But deep down, they're pissed off or they don’t believe in themselves. And life keeps bringing them things to be pissed off about and reasons not to believe in themselves. Trying to take an experience that upset you and jump immediately into HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY is like standing at the bottom of a hill and telling yourself you’re on the top. The only way up the hill is to first admit you’re on the bottom. From there, you can see clearly where you are, and take the necessary steps at your own pace to the top. That’s all there is to it. Admit where you are, feel what you feel, and take action in order to move onto a new feeling. As you do so, hold the intention that you be led to the happy thoughts. This is the key. The positive thoughts and feelings are still the ultimate goal. By allowing yourself to first work through what's keeping you from them, you will take the necessary steps that will help you to maintain the positive thoughts for real, without any undercurrent or backlash. The more you allow yourself to feel what you feel, the faster you'll move through what you don't want. You'll master the art of letting the feeling give you clarity, letting it go, and choosing the feel-good thought that propels you forward. You will also be much less concerned about what other people are feeling, because you will understand that they are in their own process of gaining clarity and growing and expanding. This will all help you to feel life is flowing so much easier. You won't feel like you're fighting an invisible current all the time. You won't be afraid of making mistakes and taking leaps of faith, because if something unwanted happens, you'll know you can navigate the results with ease and grace. Even so-called negative thoughts and feelings will work for you as you learn to use them to gain clarity. Life will essentially work for you. This, of course, does not mean that I condone projecting anger and such feelings onto other people. This is not about making other people your punching bag as you learn to navigate your feelings. You are still responsible for yourself and how you treat others, as they are also. It means you honor how you feel for the sake of living your highest and brightest potential. It means you choose not to be afraid of what life is trying to show you. It means you love and cherish all of yourself, and you give yourself space to breathe without trying to suffocate what you initially don't understand.
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One year I decided I would plant
an exquisite garden with all kinds of flowers, herbs and plants.When it was fully grown, I opened the gate to my garden and welcomed in my neighbors to see what I’d created. The first person said I’d planted too many roses. “Roses are so cliché,” they said. You should change that, it makes the whole garden seem old fashioned. I found myself nodding my head and agreeing. How could I have been so stupid? Roses are totally cliché and overdone. I should have been more original. The roses are stupid, I can see it now, and I hate them when I look at them. The second person said my cactus in the corner was weird, and it messed up the whole garden. It was too random. What was a cactus doing here? It made no sense. And again, I found myself nodding in agreement. How could I have been so stupid? The cactus is weird, and now everyone knows I’m weird for having put it here. The cactus is ugly and pointless and it’s ruining everything. The cactus has to go, all I can see when I look at it is how much I hate it. There’s no denying that, as we take steps in life to rise to our highest potential, we’re going to hit walls. Sometimes, the wall will be the fear of going to the next level, the level that goes way beyond our comfort zone. Other times, it will be something we’re sure was resolved, and we'll feel defeated at seeing this pattern back in our life. It can be very frustrating to see an old, limiting pattern return and stare us down like a growling dog, daring us to walk across its path. No matter how much it scares us to face it again, we can clear old patterns - and for good. We simply need to keep taking steps and using the right tools. One tool that can quickly and effectively help is the breath of fire. Breath of fire is a Kundalini Yoga breathing technique that literally creates heat in the body. This is caused by the quick stomach movements, which cause our muscles to warm up and raise the temperature in the lower torso. The name also reflects that using this move is like turning on a switch that lights up and ignites the mind and body. When we’re butting up against a wall, this move is something that will clear the mind so we can see what’s happening. It will also fire us up to find new solutions and to realize we are bigger and stronger than our fears and limiting beliefs. When using this breathing technique we are clearing, moving and raising energy in our first three chakras. These three chakras each have an important role to play in our sense of self-power. They are all connected and related in purpose. Activating and clearing all three at once enhances the overall healing. The more we heal, nurture and honor our sense of self-power, the more passionate and alive we will feel.
To do this technique you will breathe fast through your nose while moving your stomach in a coordinated pattern. The fast, pumping breaths have multiple physical and emotional benefits. As you push and pull your stomach in and out you will physically be pushing on stuck energy. You will also clear stuck emotional energy in the chakras listed above. The blood will get pumping faster, cleansing it as old oxygen is quickly released. Breathe in just as fast, the continual bursts of fresh oxygen rejuvenate the entire mind and body system. To begin the breath of fire, sit on the floor with legs crossed under you. Ensure your shoulders are back and you’re sitting up straight. You will breathe through your nose only. As you breathe in, push your stomach out, allowing the breath to completely fill your lungs. As you breathe out, pull your stomach in, using it as a pump to quickly and fully exhale the breath. Do this in fast movements. It may take a few tries to get the rhythm down. With a little bit of practice, the motions will become natural, and you will find you can frequently use this exercise to uplift and energize your power center. As you feel comfortable with the movement, you can also enhance the practice by visualizing a fire in your first three chakras. You might imagine this fire is like a furnace, energizing your life as it burns up all that you are done with and using it to fuel you forward. You may also want to check out my guided Chakra Balancing meditation, which will take you on a deeper journey in restoring harmony in your energetic body. Up until pretty recently, we as a society, generally equated being rich with a lack of soulfulness - we saw all people with wealth as being greedy and out of touch with what matters in life. To most of us, there was something spiritual about living a life that bordered on destitute. Over the last decade, this thinking has almost entirely reversed. We now see the ability to manifest as a barometer of spirituality. If you’ve mastered the law of attraction and acquired all you could ever dream of, you are spiritual. If you’re still struggling in debt, you are not in tune with your spiritual self. After all, generating millions of dollars is just a matter of interacting with a certain vibration. Meditate. Tune in. Get in touch with your vibration. Then you’ll get the money and everyone will know how spiritual you are. When I first discovered this concept that merged money and spirituality I was exhilarated. All of these supposed limitations fell away and anything seemed possible. If I did enough inner work, the outer would take care of itself. The idea of limitless possibility surged through me and energized me as I envisioned what I could have in my life. I did everything I could to make this inner shift happen. I took money manifesting courses, read books, meditated and danced. I gave myself plenty of self-love and self-care, and did anything else I felt would raise my vibration and get me into that sweet spot.
But nothing happened. At least not on a material level. My finances continued to the stay the same, which is to say, very meager. I didn’t get it. If getting all the money you can dream of is just about getting into the right energy, how was it I kept missing the mark? I mean me, of all people? I teach meditation, I should have this down pat! I began to wonder: Am I not that in tune with myself? Am I not spiritual? I seemed continuously blocked from this magical rain of abundance and I had no idea why. I understood the concept. I was taking solid steps. I followed guidelines laid out by those financially more successful than myself. As financial change continued to elude me, I became angry. Money is just energy and all I had to do was tune in, get clear, and align with the energy. My anger built inside of me, until I decided to stop trying so hard. I stopped reading about manifesting, stopped listening to the podcasts and went back to what feels good. Meditating on my breath. Sipping coffee in the sun. Walking to the park and enjoying the fresh air. At that point, my mind cleared and I could see what was missing. It wasn’t money. It wasn’t that I couldn’t manifest money. It was that I hadn’t been honoring my own journey. I could then feel that I am and always have been a spiritual person. The only thing that had me feeling I wasn’t spiritual was getting sucked into the comparison addiction. I was looking at what other people had, listening to their stories and using it to gauge my own journey. The more my mind cleared, the more I could see that instantly manifesting millions of dollars didn’t play into my overall vision for my life. I am slowly cultivating my skills as a writer and also building an online business. Those are two things that I want to grow and evolve with me over my whole life. Both require a solid foundation in order to be lasting. A solid foundation takes time, patience and fortitude. I didn’t need to hurry up and achieve what others had. I needed to slow down and enjoy what I was doing. I’m doing this in the exact right way for me and I’m so proud of all I’ve created. If I had a million dollars, I would honestly be doing the exact same things I am now. Writing, creating YouTube videos, and playing around with growing my website audience. So if I’m taking time to listen to myself, if I’m enjoying the birds sing outside my window and I’m pursuing my passions, then I am doing all the things I would consider make up a spiritual and soulful life. How much money I’m manifesting does not determine the level of that spirituality or soulfulness. The only thing that determines that is how good I feel. Do I still want a million dollars? Heck yes! I mean, who doesn’t? But I also want to nurture my gifts, my moments of joy and my overall goals. I want to cultivate what is in my highest interest, and allow life’s blessings to show up for me in the way that is right for me. I would also like to encourage others not to see money as a gauge of how spiritual, aligned or complete their lives are. Rather, I would encourage you to breathe into your heart and ask yourself: Am I happy? Am I living for me? Am I doing my best to nurture my soul? |