I just got a rejection letter over a screenplay that I wrote that I really love. I think the story is interesting and one of the strongest things I've ever written. Whenever I get a rejection I always lose my grip on those feelings though. It's like they become sand and just fall through my fingers, and all I'm left holding is a grain of what was once a good, solid, and upbeat attitude about my writing. It always happens the same too, every time, after all these years. I get the letter, and there's that moment of just taking it in, of just going, "Okay, this is just one opinion. It's okay. I'm okay." And then there's the backlash, the feeling that I'm writing garbage and always will. I'm trying something new where I channel those feelings into my writing. I have tried a lot of ways to process rejection quickly and effectively. Tapping, meditation, running, long walks, I've tried it all. It's kind of shocking to me I've never before put it into writing though. I just tried it and I enjoyed it. It felt like something good came from it, and like I really let it go. I felt like an alchemist, taking the feelings and transmuting them from one state to another. I don't think I could do this every time, because I don't want to write a book where a character is systematically rejected. But as it feels right, I will do this again. I hope you are finding your own ways to navigate the ups and down of following your dreams. It's never a straight road, but sometimes you gotta get knocked on your back to take a moment and look up at the stars. Speaking of which, the sun is setting, and I'm going to take a walk soon and admire the stars. I can't control much, but I can control what I do now. So now I'm going to walk and admire the night sky.
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photo copyright Steve Evans "I still got a lot of livin' to do." - my friend's 92 year old grandmother I keep thinking of these words she said, and feeling inspired by them. I'm sure you can imagine the simplicity of her life. She can't move much. She spends most of her time alone. But life is still precious to her. She still finds value and fulfillment in each moment, each breath. At some point she realized, to be alive is special, and she's not letting go of that feeling. When she got it and how she got it I can't say. It's one of the mysterious gifts of growing old.
"It's impossible," said pride. "Its risky," said experience. "Its pointless," said reason. "Give it a try," whispered the heart. (author unknown)
I've signed up for Cassandra Lyon's 100 day dance challenge and I'm really excited! The last time I joined a 100 day experience it was the happiness project, where you post something that made you happy every day on social media. It was an incredible experience and I loved how it changed my thinking and brought incredible gifts into my life. The thing that I really loved about it though was that it kept me motivated to focus on what felt good. No matter how much we tell ourselves to do something, sometimes we just need that extra motivation to make it a daily habit. So with this 100 day dance challenge I'm looking forward to being motivated and inspired to get up and be free and move for a few minutes, every day. This project starts November 4th and the cost to join is $47 (I discuss below what comes with enrolling), so you've got a week to think it over and sign up. As a bonus, there's also going to be two raffles during the dance challenge! The first is for a 1 hour coaching session with Cassandra ($150 value) and the the second is for a MONTH of coaching ($600 value)! Click here to go to the website, or keep reading for why I signed up: I recently posted on here how important it is to listen to yourself. One of the best ways to feel more in touch with yourself is dancing! Dancing is a natural and fun form of meditation. If you don't enjoy sitting and focusing on your breathing, or you would like to expand your meditation practice, then I would suggest giving this dancing challenge from Cassandra a try. Dancing focuses your mind, brings you into your body, grounds you and gets you breathing deep. In addition, dancing gets your blood pumping and your heart working, so it's going to help improve circulation, detoxify, strengthen muscles and get you feeling good from the movement. There is a reason dancing is one of the most ancient forms of connecting to spirit. Not just in the sense of a higher power, but your own spirit, the life force that pulses through you and brings passion, positivty and ease and grace into your experiences. In this blog I've talked a few times about how I used to be really depressed. That depression pushed me to find what would make me happy, to find what it meant to love myself, and to feel each day was a gift rather than a drudgery. I read books, explored spiritual teachings and made change after change, generally following my principle of one step at at time. As I became happier and began to feel I was thriving in life and not just surviving I continued to listen to current spiritual teachers and read their books. Sometimes it was just because I enjoyed it, I enjoyed the insights and meditations. But other times I still needed it, like when I lived in Holland... Or did I? I certainly thought I needed it. After all, I was depressed again, and I didn't know how to get myself out of it. So I started listening. Everyday. Sometimes to more than one a day. There's a funny thing that happens when you continually listen to all these spiritual gurus. None of them actually call themselves gurus, that is way unhip in the spiritual world these days. But guru, by definition, is Sanskrit for "teacher" or "master." Many of these people will tell you they're masters in their field. Otherwise, why would you listen to them? Would you rather listen to someone who is a relationship and love master or someone who thinks their love life is a train wreck? And all, of course, will tell you they're teachers. Therefore, if they're masters and teachers, they are gurus. However, we've all become a bit turned off by the idea of a guru. It's in fact contradictory to what many of these modern masters want to tell us: that we're the master. We already know everything. We are born into this world all knowing. So why then do we start listening to masters? Why does anyone seek out a spiritual teacher? I did it. And I enjoyed it. But what happened was, I started to rely on it. Every time I had a problem in my life I wanted to hear a radio show, I wanted to read a blog or a book. I wanted to hear what a master would say about what I was going through. Essentially, I wanted someone else to tell me how to run my life. My desire to learn from someone who supposedly knew more than me was causing me to loose faith in myself. I was not in anyway stepping into mastery. I was just following the beat of someone else's drum. This need to get my answers outside of myself continued to grow an empty feeling inside me. Especially because as I listened to these shows, they kept saying, "You already know everything! You were born healthy, abundant, all knowing, whole and complete!" But then... why am I listening? And why can't I stop? Why can't I just trust I know what I need in each moment? |